Hahnest Tah Gahd

English speaking politics is littered with funny names such as England's, Ed Balls, America's, Dick Swett and Canada's, Inky Mark. But this week a name was revealed to me that overshadows the lot. South African Sketchball/Politician Jacob Zuma ousted current President Thabo Mbeki as leader of the African National Congress in a highly contentious party meeting. While Zuma and Mbeki recieved the most votes, there was a dark horse in the mix, South African businessman politician, Tokyo Sexwale. Mr. Sexwale (pictured right) is a Soviet military trained former anti-apartheid freedom fighter who is now a mining and commodities centimillionaire. Unfortunately not much is known about his private life except that he is the real father of Jamie Lynn Spears' baby.

While I'm on the subject...electing Jacob Zuma to a national leadership post is a bad idea. While the best one hears about Mbeki's personality is that he is "aloof", the country has made strides towards meeting the majority of its UN Millennium Development Goals for 2015 (shown here in a format even a Kucinich supporter could understand). But as usually happens in developing countries(and even developed countries), as the economy grows, some at the top get very wealthy while those at the bottom,while earning more, don't see their individual rewards expand as quickly as those nouveau riche bastards covered ad nauseam in the media. So I may be better off but some dude is waaayyy better off, so Mbeki must be corrupt Q.E.D., hence the election of populist semi-literate Zuma. During his trial for rape last year, for which he was acquitted, Zuma revealed his true colors by claiming on the stand, "I can tell when a woman wants to have sex with me by the way she is sitting" and "you won't get AIDS as long as you have a shower after sex". These are idiotic if not dangerous sentiments from a man whose own home province has a population that is 30% HIV positive. Luckily for the people of South Africa, the National Prosecuting Authority is expected to bring corruption charges against Zuma after the first of the year. This should loosen the ANC leadership, easing Sexwale's insertion into a top ministry position.